O'NEILL NAKED UP IN A TREE

~ ≈ Δ ± Ξ Σ Φ Ψ Δ ≈ µ Π ~

ℷ

Um.. ..General O'Neill stirred. Oddish because it felt like morning, but it was still quite dark. It was obviously very late, or very early if you like, depending on which way you looked at it. He yawned. He stretched..

..The General was beginning to come out of his much needed slumber. Funny though he didn't feel rested, he had gone to bed early enough. He felt light headed and cool. It was as though there was e'er so slight a breeze interfering with the whole of him. Making him feel non to comfortable and altogether chilly. And he felt a little dampish.. ..um.

He began waking up even more, breathing in and stretching out to gain his bearings. Bearings.. ..he lost those quickly as he plummeted down to Earth with an almighty crash. He fell down on to the soft moist lawn of his secluded back garden, bouncing a little as he landed.

"Aaahhhhh!! Holy heaven. What!!"

He'd fallen, stark naked, out of the big oak tree at the bottom of his garden. He was now lying face up on the springy, nicely mowed green grass, under a dark and starry sky. All naked and confused he was. And covered in goose bumps all over. He sat for the quickest moment on the grass, shocked, yawning and gulping for breath. Leaning over his legs with his hands rubbing his eyes and face. His mouth was open and his mind was empty. What??

He let his hands slip apart while he focused his sight on the grass beneath him and his nakedness which began at his feet. He shakily turned his head and spotted his house, his home, just there where it should be. He didn't look around, just maintained his position on the grass whilst he sensed the situation. Um.. ..sitting in mi back garden on the moist grass in the dark early hours of the morning after just having fallen completely naked out of a tree.. ..Um.

All clear! He quickly jumped up on to his feet and walked, not ran, to his house and went inside. He stood in the kitchen for a time unable to quite elucidate the event. He was having trouble with where to begin. In the tree. In bed last night. Just now here in the kitchen, in his birthday suit.

Poison, no he very much doubted that. Thor, no way. Sleep walk, no never did. All things being equal, yeah right. He surveyed his home. Everything was just the same, the way he had left it before going to bed last night. He was back in the kitchen again. He opened the back door, left it open and stood back in summation.

He'd left The SGC at a fairly decent time. The day had been normal, relatively. An absolute cascade of Briefings and Debriefings, all in order. The main concern for the day, a part from everything, was the as yet unquantified situation emanating from the 'Mayan Pyramid, noted and underway.

Other than his trips to the infirmary, regarding Nick, he hadn't been in any of the other labs. He hadn't handled any of the artefacts brought back from off world. Today he'd not been in physical contact with any off world personnel. Apart from Major Lyons who'd been cleared, he'd had no physical contact with any teams returning from off world Missions. And he also hadn't been in contact with any extra terrestrial visitors. All in all everything was in order. A part from what just happen that is.

Oh, his dinner earlier on. No, nothing exotic, usual food. Erm coffee, to much. No, he drank coffee but only in moderation. He enjoyed the odd beer but rarely bothered with alcohol. Erm, the drive home, he'd drove himself and it was clear all the way. He'd been listening to no loud music. And he'd been subjected to no flashing lights. And yet, um..

..A naked General up in a tree. Damn and double drat. It made no sense. No sense at all. Sore and bruised, oh yeah, you betcha, big time, big fall. But forget about that, any pain he may have felt was way superseded by the manner, the means and the wherefore. Concerned, nah, he was waaay to worried for that.

He picked up the telephone in the kitchen and speed dialled.

"Teal'c where are you?"

"In my quarters O'Neill."

"T buddy come and pick me up."

"O'Neill it is only 4 a.m. should not you now be sleeping?"

"T."

"I am on my way O'Neill."

Dreaming, nnno. Sure, no way.. .. right. I'm not dreaming, right. Well I'll see soon enough.

Teal'c sprang into the house through the open kitchen door. Before entering the General's house he'd conducted a provisional quick sweep of the grounds bringing him round to the back door.

No, not dreaming.

"Thanks for getting here so fast T."

Teal'c was a picture to look at. He had all the kindness and caring for his friend written across his face. He was listening with the attention of someone extremely observant and acutely astute. The puzzlement dancing on his brow was not that he didn't believe what the General was saying, because he did believe, every single word of it. Both men had total respect and admiration for each other. True brotherly love. They also each had an unshakeable trust in the other. No, the puzzlement was the manner, the means and the wherefore.

Teal'c went back out into the grounds of the General's home. He scouted and came back. O'Neill put hot drinks on the breakfast bar.

"On what are your thoughts O'Neill?"

"Firstly I can't think straight at this hot second. Mi minds a heck of a lot busy with a trifling amount. I can't focus properly T. Crikey, I've just fallen out of a tree, hows that. Shock, do ya think?"

"I do think shock O'Neill. What else?"

"Well how come I went to sleep in a bed and woke up falling out of a tree."

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Indeed. What else O'Neill?"

"Okay, when I came out of the tree and hit the deck, hard, and got back inside the house, the only possibilities I came up with and subsequently ruled out were poison, sleep walking and Thor."

"The First is impossible O'Neill. All your people are loyal."

He thought for a moment and added with stalwart earnestness, "extremely loyal."

"Yeah I know T. I ruled that out straight away."

"Sleep walking O'Neill, this would more closely suit your condition. The shamans of long lost civilisations did especially believe in the transformation of man into animal who could then take flight and traverse great distances in the quest for answers.."

"T.. ..when I went to bed last night I had no questions on my mind.. .. well okay maybe one or two, but nothing which would require me to take flight."

"But flight you did take O'Neill. I have searched the grounds of your home and I find no clue as to how you got up into the tree. If you made the climb unaided I would at least discover your footprints. There are also no imprints from any type of support which would have assisted you in such a high climb. I did however find all the impressions of your fall to Earth and also your barefoot walk back to the house."

"Teal'c this is a real serious problem."

"Yerrss."

Teal'c was in full agreement with his friend but as yet they were unable to exchange constructive explanation.

"Right now I would prefer we solve this ourselves."

"O'Neill, we will solve this problem together. But I fear first we must gather more facts.. ..and more evidence."

"More evidence! What you think its going to happen again?"

"Yes O'Neill I do."

Gawd no, not without a seatbelt or a parachute, something. The General looked a little drained. Seeing this his friend commented.

"Thor."

"Thor's a good pal. He wouldn't leave me stuck up in a tree."

"Indeed he would not O'Neill."

"Sleep walking T, what do ya think?"

"No. Your personality, nature, even in the sleeping state is much to calm for an activity such as that. Your subconscious would prevent it. We must devote a great deal of thought and meditation to solve this serious matter."

"Thanks Teal'c buddy. That really would be a great help."

"You are most welcome O'Neill."

"I need you to take some blood."

General O'Neill offered Teal'c his arm and a small field medical kit.

"Take your blood O'Neill. I can not."

"Teal'c you're not spilling my blood you're draining it, just a tiny bit. Beside I'm asking you to and plus its an emergency. Come on heres the needle."

"No! I will help you O'Neill but I will not take blood away from you."

"Come on T, it's a favour, like a gift."

"No O'Neill, not! We must ask Colonel Carter to take a tiny bit."

"No! Absolutely not. No way! This stays between you and me. Not a word."

"She would want to know."

"Absolutely she would want to know. Teal'c we don't know what we're dealing with. Its sent me for six. You know, confusing. She'll be jumping all over it. Tests, more tests and super tests. She won't rest until shes fixed me."

"Indeed O'Neill you are correct."

Teal'c began laughing, imagining Colonel Carter fussing over the General.

"Ah discretion."

"Yes T, sub rosa, si vu plait."

"O'Neill, if you yourself can find away to extract your own blood, I will take it off base, a non military establishment. They can analyse it quickly."

"Takes about one or two weeks in those private places."

"No O'Neill, they will do it immediately."

"Good one T. Right, now come and hold my arm straight while I jam this needle in to draw blood."

"No!"

~ Ψ Γ √ χ Λ Φ Ω Δ √ ∞ ≡ ~

:: Mission Accounts ::

© Richard Dean Anderson all rights reserved June 2006